If I Knew My Future Held This
by crazygleek101
Summary: Blaine proposes to Kurt. They "celebrate" ;) but their world and everything they knew suddenly changes.
1. You're My Future

Blaine was preparing for Kurt to come over while his parents would be on a business trip for the next week. Kurt heard about Finn and Rachel's engagement and since he lived with Finn he was helping them plan it. The funny thing is at the same time Rachel's paying attention to everything they look at that Kurt likes. She and Blaine have a plan; Blaine was proposing tonight and he would suprise Kurt with the already almost complete plan for their wedding using the information Rachel gave them. They would move to New York and marry there, possibly adopting a child in the future. Blaine smiled as he thought, then heard Kurt's car pull up.

"Blaine, I'm here," Kurt said walking in. They didn't even bother knocking anymore.

"In here Kurt," Blaine called from the kitchen. Kurt walked into the kitchen and saw Blaine cooking, "What's on the menu for tonight?" Kurt asked kissing his amazing boyfriend on the cheek.

"It's a suprise," Blaine said still wearing the stupid smile he can't seem to get rid of, "You can head up to my room if you want. That's where we'll be dining."

"Blaine Anderson, you just want to get me in your bed again," Kurt said laughing, "What the hell Blaine? You expect me to just give in to you? Nuh-uh you have to work for it baby," Kurt teased.

"Damn, was my plan that obvious," Kurt's laughter was infectious. Blaine leaned over and tried to kiss Kurt but he turned his head.

"Not yet," he said teasingly scolding Blaine, "We'll see how good whatever that is tastes," Kurt said gesturing toward the stove. "I'll be waiting in your room."

"You're a tease Hummel," Blaine yelled up after Kurt climbed the stairs. He finished preparing their plates and brought them to his bedroom.

* * *

><p>"Blaine maybe you will get some action tonight," Kurt joked, "That spagetti was so good but you taste a lot better." Blaine started to choke as he tried to take a drink.<p>

"What?" he said trying to breathe again.

"Nothing, it's just that you taste so good, Blaine." Blaine tried to stop what he knew what was going to happen. _Down boy, down,_ he thought_._ Suprisingly it worked. Blaine's hormones would not ruin what he was about to do.

"Kurt, there's something I have to ask you."

"Oh, you can bottom this time, even though I really liked it," Kurt said blushing.

_Shit,_ Blaine thought. "Kurt, it's not that," he said taking a breath. He got up and walked and opened his desk drawer pulling out a ring box containing Kurt's ring. It was silver with a beautiful pattern on it. He walked back over and got on one knee.

"Blaine, wha-

"Kurt, please let me ask you this while I'm still brave enough," he said taking a deep breath, "Kurt Hummel, you have been an amazing boyfriend for the past year. I love you and there are so many things we've overcome. I want you to be my lifelong partner. Will you marry me?"

"Blaine, of course I will," Kurt said jumping into his arms. He tried to attack his lips but Blaine pulled away, "Blaine?"

"I really want to be all over you right now but first I must show you something," he said, going to the computer.

"Blaine, what the hell?"

"Just wait," he said and pulled up the screen, "Come look."

Kurt walked over to the computer where the pictures of their ideal wedding things were. He showed him the red roses of different shades and the beautiful area they should get married. He'd taken the advice Kurt gave Rachel and Finn and knew Kurt wanted the letters on the invitations to be gold and even knew Kurt wanted vanilla cake because he believed vanilla was the most elegant cake flavor. If Blaine wasn't so happy to marry Kurt he'd tease him over how picky he was. Kurt couldn't help but smile; his smiles were only interupted by gasps. Blaine had to keep himself from kissing his boyfriend which was hard but possible. He did have some control.

Kurt was so happy and by the end of the wedding planning sessions Blaine was hoping they could celebrate.

"Okay Kurt, I think that's enough suprises for the night," Blaine said happily laying with his head on his boyfriend, _no fiancé,_ _he corrected himself._

"Blaine, I love you so much," Kurt said kissing him softly. Then Blaine rubbed his tounge over Kurt's bottom lip causing Kurt to moan. What started so soft became full of lust and need. Since Kurt said he loved bottoming, Blaine wouldn't complain. Finally what Blaine had been waiting for all night was here and worth the wait.

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><p>AN: This is my first fic and I'm hoping it's good. The play just started at my school so if there is a long pause between this chapter and the next I'm sorry but that's why. Let me know what you think, reviews are motivation.


	2. What If

Kurt woke that morning and smiled when he looked at the sleeping figure curled up next to him. He was glad he'd promised his life to Blaine and had no doubts. He stretched, smiling when he saw the gleam of the ring on his left hand with the sunlight streaming in the bedroom. He moved to get up wincing slightly and he smiled again when he remembered why he hurt.

"Kurt," Blaine said in a sleepy voice, "How are you awake right now? What time is it?"

"Oh, no. It's already ten, Blaine. We're supposed to meet Dad and Carole at noon," Kurt answered after looking at the clock.

"We better shower than," Blaine said, sitting up, "You can go first."

"Well, we could save water and just shower together. We wouldn't want your parents to get suspicious."

"That sounds good," Blaine said, nodding happily.

They got up laughing as they raced to the shower.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, hurry up," Blaine complained.<p>

It was 11:30 and, though the diner was only five minutes away, they would likely be late as Kurt picked out his outfit. He lay them on his bed while still in his towel, a simple thing Blaine just couldn't ignore.

"I'm sorry, Blaine. What do you think I look the best in?"

"The towel," Blaine said before finding he'd actually said it out loud instead of in his head.

"Blaine Anderson, I don't think my parents would appreciate me showing up to the diner in a towel. I'm already unsure of what my dad will think about the engagement or about the ring," Kurt said biting his lip, something he did when he was really nervous.

"Kurt, I didn't really mean that," Blaine told him, laughing.

"I know, I know. What if my dad doesn't give his blessing, Blaine. What if-"

"Please stop getting so worried, baby. We'll deal with things as they come our way. That's what we've always done," Blaine got up to hold the almost crying man he loved. Blaine couldn't help but remember Kurt was wearing only a towel but just tried to ignore that fact.

"Yeah, I know," he said turning around and picking out an outfit before returning to the bathroom to change.

Kurt came back out to find Blaine there holding flowers.

"Blaine?"

"I had a feeling you would be nervous so I got you these," he said handing him the flowers, "I love you, Kurt."

"I love you, too," Kurt replied before kissing the man he soon planned to marry and spend the rest of their life with. Maybe shortly after the wedding they would discuss adoption or getting a surrogate mother. Blaine wished they could half a baby that was half Kurt and half himself but that was very impossible. Maybe someday there will be a medical breakthrough and there will be some way for that to happen but Blaine would rely on that small chance.

* * *

><p>They finally made it out of the house, Kurt eventually happy with the way he looked. They made it to the diner minutes before Burt and Carole. They made their way to their seats, Blaine pulling out Kurt's chair allowing him to sit which, as always, caused Kurt to thank Blaine. Blaine always told him it wasn't needed but it was still nice to hear it. The whole time Burt eyed them warily.<p>

"When Kurt called his voice sounded so strange. Is everything okay?" Burt asked.

The boys had positioned themselves so that Kurt's left hand would be reachable by Blaine's right hand. Blaine took Kurt's hand and held it up as Burt stared and Carole squealed with delight.

"We're getting married," Kurt and Blaine said together, stating the obvious.

Blaine then remember what he had to do, "Um, Mr. Hummel, I know this is, um, out of order," he began trying to remember how to breathe and trying to slow his hearbeat, "I really love your son and I would like to ask for your blessing."

"Kurt, are you sure about this?" Burt asked looking into his son's eyes.

"Yes," was all Kurt could say.

"Okay. If this is what you want, what both of you want, you have my blessing."

Kurt and Blaine couldn't stop smiling as they talked about wedding plans. Sure, it was going to be hard since so many didn't believe that gays should marry and many people probably wouldn't go all the way to New York to see the wedding, but this was about Kurt and Blaine. This would be a day they would remeber forever and as long as they were together everything would be perfect.

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><p>AN: This wasn't as long as I wanted it to be but life's been keeping me quite busy. I will write another chapter ASAP though they may not be as soon as I'd like. Thank you for everyone who has favorited this story. =) After seeing how many people liked this I just had to write another chapter for you. Reviews are welcome and are my motivation!


	3. Unfortunately Right

It was a few weeks after the engagement and Kurt and Blaine had already moved to New York. The couple, well mostly Kurt, was planning the final details of the wedding they were planning to have in two weeks. Kurt was extremly tired and decided this must be why. He also had been feeling very sick in the morning, right after waking up, but this usually wore off a few hours after he woke up. He decided this wasn't important enough to tell Blaine. To Kurt's dismay, he had fallen in love with a man that happened to be extremly observant.

"Kurt, are you okay, baby? You look so pale," he said when he got up that Saturday morning.

"Don't be silly. I couldn't be better or hap-" he said, cutting himself off and running to the bathroom with a sick look on his face.

"Kurt?" Blaine followed his boyfriend and saw his slumped over the toilet. "Maybe you should go to the doctor."

"Don't be silly," Kurt said getting up and wiping his mouth, "I'm fine. It's the weekend, we don't have work today so why bother ourselves with a wasted trip."

"Kurt, please," he begged with his best puppy dog eyes.'

Damn those beautiful eyes. "Alright," Kurt agreed making Blaine smile, "But you have to make it up to me later."

"Of course, baby," Blaine agreed winking.

* * *

><p>Finally they made it to the doctors, Kurt still unhappy to be there.<p>

"Mr. Hummel," the doctor called.

Kurt got up and looked at Blaine, "Come on. You wanted me to come here so you better go in with me."

Blaine just smiled and got up. The two boys walked into the room together. The doctor seemed nice and Kurt was happy. Since they'd recently moved to New York they'd basically had to start over again. New doctors, new jobs, new neighbors. They were lucky to even get new jobs but a theatre near their new house just happened to be hiring and Blaine and Kurt had the right talent. Blaine thought about this and wondered if maybe Kurt was right and all that was wrong with Kurt was the stress of the wedding and the move. With Blaine's background they didn't really have to worry about money, Blaine was left thousands when his grandfather passed away ten years ago. If Kurt was fine he'd be bragging all day, maybe even the whole week. Blaine would happily take that over Kurt getting really sick, well Blaine didn't want to think of something being very wrong with Kurt or any of the bad things that could happen.

Their new doctor, Dr. Edwards, came in and began taking blood from Kurt after doing the normal check-up things and asking him some questions.

"We usually don't do this but it's your first time here," He told Kurt while taking blood. "We'll need to do this anyway. It seems like there's nothing wrong but we'll know more with the test results. We should have the results in three days and we'll call you as soon as we get them."

The boys thanked the doctor and left. The next few days were normal for Kurt but seemed like a lifetime to Blaine. Finally, Kurt's phone rang Wednesday night.

"Hello," Kurt answered, Blaine instantly stopped what he was doing and listened to Kurt's end of the conversation.

"I'm good Dr. Edwards, and you?"

There was a long pause as Kurt listened. His face seemed to get paler.

Finally, Kurt said, "Thank you, doctor. I'll see you then."

When Kurt hung up Blaine began asking, "What did he say?"

"The test results are back but he wouldn't tell me anything. He wants to see us after work tomorrow. Maybe you were right, Blaine. I'm so scared. Something could be really wrong. Blaine, I don't wanna die."

"I'm here no matter what, you know that baby. I love you," Blaine said holding his boyfriend. By now Kurt was crying so hard he was shaking.

They went upstairs and Blaine snuggled next to the love of his life. Kurt was still crying and Blaine tried to calm him. He was stroking Kurt's hair which he only got to do this on rare occasions since Kurt was so protective of it.

"Blaine," Kurt said with a small voice.

"Yeah, baby?"

"I'm really, really scared. What's wrong with me? Why can't the doctor just tell me now?"

"Kurt, maybe it's better that he waits until we get there. Baby, can you look at me for a second?" Blaine asked as he tried to keep himself from along with Kurt.

Kurt looked up to Blaine with tear-filled eyes. Blaine looked in his eyes for a moment and Kurt said, "Blaine, I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Blaine said still looking in his eyes. Then Kurt put his head on Kurt's chest, "Baby?"

"Mmmmm?" Kurt asked half sleeping.

"Tomorrow there's something I want you to remember when we're in there. Courage."

Blaine looked over to see Kurt calm and smiling and continued to stroke his hair and and whispered comforting words until he was absolutely sure Kurt was asleep. Then, and only then, did he allow himself to worry and cry until he drifted off still holding the man he loved.

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><p>AN: This story is a lot more popular than I ever imagined it could be. Thanks to everyone who has read this story and favorited or reviewed it. You can guess what's wrong with Kurt and I'll mention the people who guess right in the author's note of the next chapter. Reviews will keep me writing =)


	4. How?

Kurt woke up the next morning and panicked because Blanie wasn't there. He got out of bed and began walking toward the living room. He stopped when he heard crying. _Was that Blaine?_ He ran out and saw Blaine, already dressed, crying on the couch; when Blaine saw Kurt he frantically wiped his tears.

"Blaine, baby, why are you crying?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt, I wasn't crying. It was," Blaine began, then paused, thinking. Kurt gave him a stern look and Blaine, very softly, added, "It was my allergies."

"Don't lie to me."

"You're right, Kurt," he said and told the truth this time, "I was crying because I'm afraid of what the doctor will say. You've looked so sick lately and I can't help you. It's not fair. I was thinking, maybe we should put the wedding off for a few weeks."

"No," he said quickly, "Blaine Anderson, I want to marry you now. Listen, we'll go to the doctor and see what's wrong and go from there."

Blaine looked at him for a moment and let the tears fall silently down his face. Kurt couldn't help but cry with him. They agreed they could hold it together through the day and Kurt began walking to the kitchen.

"Kurt," Blaine called stopping him.

"Yeah?"

"Shouldn't _I_ be comforting_ you_?" he asked with meek smile.

"Blaine, we're partners for life. We may not be official yet but I already know how much I love you and a ring and ceremony won't change that. When one is sad, the other is. That just shows how much you care and I love you for it."

"I love you, too."

Kurt turned back toward the kitchen when Blaine stopped him, this time getting up.

"I'm going to head to work and talk to the boss. Maybe we can get off early so we can hurry to the doctor and see what happens from there."

"Okay, baby," Kurt said and kissed Blaine's cheek. Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek in response.

Kurt walked into the bathroom for the first time that morning to brush his teeth and saw something on the mirror. He looked closer and saw what it was. He saw a post-it note with Blaine's sloppy handwriting on it, COURAGE. Kurt smiled and got ready.

* * *

><p>Kurt walked into work only to find Blaine getting ready to leave and it was half an hour before their shift together would start.<p>

"Baby," Blaine said happily and hugged Kurt, "Guess what!"

"Um, why are you leaving?"

"Kurt," Blaine whined, "I said guess what!"

"What?" Kurt asked since Blaine wouldn't say anything else until he said this.

"Ms. Brummen said we can take today off if we pick an extra shift up next week. Call the doctor and we could head over now."

"Blaine, honey," Kurt said, happy there would be less wait for the results now, "Why is our boss letting us leave early?"

"She's just really nice?" he guessed.

"No," Kurt said smirking, "I think Cindy likes you."

"No, silly. It would really suck if she did though. She should know by now that I'm gay and if she doesn't she will."

"What do you m-" Kurt was starting to ask when Blaine kissed him quickly.

"Now we can go," Blaine said smirking.

They started walking out the door and Kurt looked back to see if anyone was upset by their quick kiss. He saw Cindy who had walked halfway out her door and stopped when she saw what happened. He heard her scream something about the cute ones always being gay as the door shut behind the two boys. Blaine still didn't seem to notice.

* * *

><p>The boys got to the doctors and Kurt's happiness had faded when he realized how close he was to finding out why he was so sick. They walked in and sat down as they waited to find what their fate was.<p>

"Kurt Hummel," the nurse called.

"Shit, why are the always so fast," Kurt muttered and got up, gesturing for Blaine to follow.

The nurse looked at the two men and looked confused, "We usually don't allow friends in serious doctor meetings."

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other quickly before Kurt said, "He's my partner."

A look of understanding was on the nurse's face now and she smiled, "That's perfectly fine in that case. Just sit and the doctor will be in with your file shortly."

"Weird," Blaine said, "she didn't even care that we're gay."

Kurt tried to smile because he was happy she was so welcoming but he just couldn't find the energy for a smile.

* * *

><p>The doctor came in and sat with the two boys. He was smiling and Blaine was making small talk when Kurt just blurted, "What's wrong with me?"<p>

"Mr. Hummel, this is nothing that will kill you but in all my years as I doctor I've never seen this happen. I've only ever heard of it once. It's only happened a few times and the first case was in Mexico. They called it 'bebé del hombre'."

Blaine was confused. At Dalton he took French and he knew that bebé must be baby and del must be of the but he had no idea what hombre meant. He remembered that Kurt took Spanish and turned to him. All the color in Kurt's face had drained out.

"Kurt, Mr. Edwards? Somebody tell me what's going on!" Blaine demanded, frantically.

"Blaine, I-I'm havi-" Kurt began but passed out before he could finish. Blaine had caught him almost immediately and pulled him into his lap waiting for him to wake up.

"What the hell is going on?" Blaine asked the doctor.

"As hard as this is to believe, your partner is pregnant and well I'm guessing it's yours?"

"Yes, it has to be."

"We'll have to wait for him to wake up before I can give any more information."

A few moments later Kurt opened his eyes to find himself in Blaine's lap.

"Good, you weren't out long," the doctor said.

"Is this really possible?" Kurt asked scared.

"Now that, Mr. Hummel, is a long and complicated story," the doctor said.

"Then I guess you better start telling us," Blaine said for Kurt.

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><p>AN: omg guys thanks for the support. It means so much 3! And yay: missyemzy, defying gravity10 and AisforAwesome! Kurt is pregnant! Also sry for any mistakes I've had little sleep in the past two days and between play practice and my parenting project which involved bringing a realistic baby home and it liked to cry at night I'm really tired O.o


	5. Not Impossible

A/N: Finally! Spring break this week means I get to write more! I try to find time but now that the play is over at our school (and was great!) I have color guard. I'll try to keep up more though =). Oh, and exactly a week ago I went to NYC and saw Wicked at the Gershwin Theater, I even learned a song and dance from the show with people from the actual cast! AMAZING! So, without further ado... Chapter 5!

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><p>Kurt and Blaine watched the doctor struggle with where to start. They sat patiently, Kurt chose not to move from Blaine's lap.<p>

"Okay," the doctor began, finally, "so I'll start with how we detected this. When a woman is pregnant she can first take an at home pregnancy test. Those are not always accurate, though. They can come in and get their blood taken and, I'm not going to get too complicated here but if you want to know specifics let me know, a hormone shows up in their blood that is only there if they are pregnant or had a recent miscarriage. Then they get an ultrasound to see how things are going. I'm going to send you for one soon to see what's happening."

"And why would you check for this hormone in Kurt's blood?" Blaine asked.

"We did the usual tests and saw nothing. Then we remember past events where the problem was that the person that was transexual."

"I'm confused, if I'm transexual does that mean I'm half straight?" Kurt asked. Blaine and the doctor couldn't help but laugh.

"The only thing female about you is that you have a uterus. See there's a disease in women in which they have an extra uterus, sometimes with and extra vagina, sometimes without. You have a rare form of a similar disease but you only have one uterus and no vagina but obviously it's not really supposed to be there. We will need to do tests to see just how functional this uterus is. These tests will need to be done today. If your uterus is not functional we can take your fertilized egg and possibly find a surrogate mother."

"And if it is functional?" Kurt asked afraid he already knew the answer.

"If it is functional, there is more of a chance for the baby to survive if we leave it there for about eight months then do c-section. Do you know what that is?"

Kurt and Blaine nodded. The doctor told them he would meet them at the nearest hospital where the tests would be done.

They were about to leave when Blaine, who had been unusually quiet, spoke up, "Oh, babé del hombre means baby of the man. Right?"

"Yes," Kurt said allowing a small laugh to escape though he was nervous

* * *

><p>The boys made it to the hospital without breaking down. The moment Blaine realized the severity of the situation he excused himself to the bathroom while trying to hold back the tears. He knew he couldn't be gone long because Kurt was even more nervous than he was. He let a few tears escape and was careful not to show too many obvious signs of his breakdown, like extremely red eyes. He walked out of the bathroom and joined his future husband and their unborn possible baby again.<p>

"Blaine, baby, I know you were crying," Kurt said allowing a few tears of his own to flow down his cheek.

Blaine didn't even try to deny it, "How did you know?"

"Blaine, you can't ever hide things from me. I'm just that good," Kurt said with a small laugh, "I know you're nervous, baby, I am too."

"I love you," Blaine said, giving Kurt a small kiss and crying again with the man he would always love.

"I love you, too," Kurt said and rested his head against Blaine's chest.

* * *

><p>"Um, you can either pull your shirt up or take it off," the woman in charge of Kurt's ultrasound informed him, looking very awkward since she wasn't used to working with men.<p>

Kurt nodded and pulled his shirt up a little and sat on the table. Then rested on his back staring at the ceiling.

"You know if this wasn't my work shirt, I probably would've took the shirt off. I really value my clothes," Kurt said, though he was unsure if the woman would care to talk. He saw her relax a little and Blaine smiled, taking Kurt's hand. He was so proud to have someone who tried to make others feel so much better when he was filled with hard times and stress. Kurt kissed his hand that was interlocked with Blaine's.

"I, uh," the woman started then stopped and thought for a while before continuing, "I don't mean to seem, uh, nosy but when did you guys come out?"

"High school," Kurt said followed by Blaine saying, "Middle school. Why do you ask?"

"Oh," she said blushing, "My brother just came out to my family and he's in college."

Kurt's face fell. He was only planning to take a year off of college then hope to go to NYADA. Things would change with a baby in the picture.

"Why wait so long?" Kurt asked.

She sighed, warned Kurt that the jelly she was about to apply to his stomach would be cool and answered, "You don't know my father."

"You don't know _my_ father," Blaine countered, "You should've seen his attempts to 'turn me straight'. They were laughable."

She giggled then pointed to the screen. Neither boy was sure what they were looking at.

"That's the baby," she said pointing. She called Kurt's doctor in who had just arrived.

"You uterus is able to support the baby," he said happily, "What do you want to do?"

"I want to keep it in my uterus," he said to the doctor before turning to Blaine, "I'm carrying our baby. Blaine, there's going to be a little baby that really looks like both of us. It's not impossible."

Both boys were filled with joy until tears of happiness, mixed with worry, began to fall and didn't stop.


	6. A Long Wait

A/N: This chapter is not as long as I'd like it to be but I've been way too busy lately. I wanted quality over quantity and I hope that's what I delivered. Btw what the hell was with the glee last night? I'm not going to give any spoilers away but I'm so confused and I didn't expect that. Oh, well as long as Klaine stays together in the end I'll be happy.

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><p>Kurt and Blaine had been tired from the stress and worry of the last few days that even their excitement couldn't keep them up. When they got home they'd taken off their shirts and pants and were too lazy to put anything else on so they slept in their underwear. The next morning, as always, Kurt woke up to find Blaine sleeping. Kurt got up and brushed his teeth since he really hated morning breath.<p>

"Blaine," he said, too excited to feel bad about waking Blaine up, "I'm really pregnant."

"Having my baby," Blaine mumbled then yawned, "what a wonderful way to say you love me. You're having my baby!"

Blaine attacked Kurt with a kiss after his short performace.

"Blaine, your breath-"

"Doesn't smell awful?" Blaine offered.

"I was going to say it smells, and tastes, minty."

"Just for you," Blaine said that laughed as he kissed Kurt's neck, "I woke up earlier and thought I'd surprise you when you woke up with nice fresh breath," Blaine continued while placing his hand on Kurt's upper thigh. Kurt immediately moved away which confused Blaine.

"No, Blaine. You can wait eight months," Kurt insisted.

"Are you serious?" Blaine squeaked.

"Yes, Blaine I'm serious."

Kurt headed downstairs, leaving Blaine moping and in shock.

* * *

><p>"Rachel, you should've seen him, it's hilarious," Kurt told her. She stopped by the theatre with Finn since Kurt wanted to give them the news. Blaine was in the bathroom so Kurt took the oppertunity to tell her about the talk they had. Rachel and Finn were two of the very few people who knew about Kurt's strange situation.<p>

"Dude, I don't blame him, that's harsh," Finn told Kurt.

"Finn, that's what's going to happen if I get pregnant. You know that, right?" Rachel asked him.

"Um, we should hold off on having a baby then," Finn said quickly, making Kurt and Rachel laugh.

Blaine returned and Finn couldn't hold back his laugh.

"Dude, I'm so sorry," Finn told him.

"About?" Blaine asked confused.

"I would die if I had to go eight months without sex."

"I agree," Rachel added, "Your reaction sounds normal because we all know sex can be pretty wonderful when you love the person you're with," she finished smiling at her husband. They hadn't been able to wait long after the engagement before they got married. Finn realized what she said and smiled back at her. Kurt knew he blocked out what she said most of the time.

"Kurt, did you have to tell them?" Blaine whined.

"Of course I did," Kurt said laughing.

* * *

><p>Blaine and Kurt left and Blaine was still complaining.<p>

"Kurt, do blowjobs count as sex?"

"Blaine," Kurt began laughing, "Let's not do anything for a few days and I'll talk to the doctor."

"Kurt, please don't do this to me. What if I die?" He asked in a whiny voice.

"You won't die," Kurt said as they arrived home. He laughed and kissed his nose.

"When is the next appointment?"

"Next week. We'll see how far along I am and I can't wait to hear the heartbeat," Kurt said, excited.

Blaine was excited, too. Not only was he excited about the baby but he was also excited to ask the doctor what they could do sexually while Kurt was with child. Maybe he'd ask if sex deprivation was a serious disease. Blaine was wondering if he could get Kurt to believe it was a deadly illness.

* * *

><p>AN: Poor Blaine. =P And yes in my story Finchel get married. Now we start the long wait for season 4. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. After tomorrow we get a 5 day break but I have practice tomorrow and our first parade of the year for memorial day on Monday. Plus I have to study for the end of the year exams. Let's hope I can get an amazing writing streak and get the next chapter up soon. *crosses fingers*. Thank you to anyone who reads and any comments would be appreciated.


	7. Curious

**A/N:** Wow, so things have sucked lately and between writer's block (my worst enemy) and being totally busy (Driver's Ed class and book report in the summer... -_-' why me?) I haven't been able to upload anything in a while. For that I am sorry and near the end of August all should be fine 3 Hopefully this long break will NOT happen again

* * *

><p>Finally a week had passed and they were off to talk with Dr. Edwards to see how the baby was doing. Even though Kurt was excited to see how the baby was doing, Blaine was up and ready before Kurt.<p>

"Blaine?" Kurt asked sleepily, "How are you up before me?"

"You are the one carrying our baby. That does get tiring I believe," Blaine said, grabbing his hand and helping him out of bed.

"Blaine, baby, have you been thinking about names?"

"Of course. Have you?"

"Um, yeah," Kurt said biting his lip, "If we have a girl I want to name her Courtney Marie and if it's a boy I want to name it Charlie."

"I like those names but I was thinking David for a boy. He's been my best friend and there's also Karofsky who you helped, a lot, through everything."

"Yeah, after he tried to steal me from you, Blaine."

"I won," Blaine said happily. He kissed Kurt and began licking Kurt's bottom lip. Kurt allowed access and Blaine's tongue began to explore Kurt's mouth. Kurt moaned but knew he couldn't let Blaine keep going. He knew they couldn't have sex until they saw the doctor. If the doctor agrees that it's fine maybe tonight-

Blaine's lips suddenly left Kurt's and moved to his neck. Kurt struggled to keep his thoughts together.

"Blaine," he began saying, though his voice broke, "Blaine, stop."

"Kurt, please. I need you," Blaine begged.

"No," Kurt said firmly.

Then with a pouting, and very needy Blaine, Kurt got ready to go to the doctor, trying not to laugh at Blaine.

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><p>In the car Blaine took his seat behind the wheel and Kurt got in the passenger side. Blaine immediately put his hand on Kurt's thigh.<p>

"Your hand stays there and moves no farther upward," Kurt said sternly.

Blaine laughed at his seriousness but nodded. Blaine pulled out of the driveway and Kurt relaxed as Blaine kept his hand from straying. Kurt began to drift off and Blaine inched his hand upward. Kurt's eyes shot open.

"Blaine, please stop."

"Sorry, Kurt. I can't resist you," Blaine admitted.

"I'm going to admit something to you that you better not take advantage of," Kurt said with a sigh.

"Which is?"

"This is just as hard for me as it is for you," Kurt said rolling his eyes at Blaine's skepticism, "I want you so bad, but I just want more information on what's going on with the baby and how everything works before we do anything."

"Okay," Blaine said and removed his hand from Kurt's lap finally.

Kurt shook his head and took the hand that Blaine had just moved. He did not place it on his lap but he kissed Blaine's palm and interlocked their fingers together until they got to the doctor's office.

"Mr. Hummel and Mr. Anderson," the doctor called and Kurt and Blaine walked into the office.

Kurt was nervous and felt awkward about what he was going to ask the doctor so he decided to wait until the end.

"Hello, Mr. Hummel. How do you feel today?" the doctor asked Kurt.

"Good, I'm excited," Kurt admitted and placed his hand on his stomach, "this baby is a blessing."

Blaine smiled and he and Kurt walked into the room where the ultrasound took place. They had the same women as the last time and she smiled when they walked in. Kurt followed the procedure he had to do the first day. He removed his shirt and lay on the table waiting. Blaine took his place sitting in the chair and moving it close enough to hold Kurt's hand. She warned him about the cool feeling again and began to look for the baby.

Both boys noticed that she was quieter today and looked upset and puzzled about something often. Kurt wondered if she felt okay or if anything was happening with her family or, more possibly, her brother. She told them to go back to their doctor's office and they did as she asked. They got into the office and the doctor came in. He seemed tired and there was a forlorn look in his eyes. He'd never looked this way before and Kurt wondered if there was something going on in the office. He decided to ignore it and ask what he was planning on asking.

"There's something I wanted to ask you," Kurt said and then blurted, "Can a guy have sex when he's pregnant? I just don't know how this works and there isn't much research out there," he blushed then admitted, "I've googled it."

Kurt thought the doctor would laugh but he didn't then answer the question or laugh. He made no sound and the boys were confused. Instead, his face remained expressionless and he didn't answer the question.

"Mr. Hummel, after the ultrasound today there's something we have to tell you and your partner, Mr. Anderson."

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><p>O.o Vas happening? Mysteriousness lol. I'm not sure how many people read my story and how many people enjoy it but I'd like to guess that there are some people who really like my work and I want to let you know that I now have a twitter! MandyOranges... es me! I'm new so there's no picture of me... yet :) Anywayssssss thanks for reading 3<p> 


	8. Foolish Happiness

**A/N**: OMG so sorry for a wait again :( And sorry about the chapter :'( This will continue to have short chapters and I'm sorry about that but that's just how it's been and I'm working on a new fic so maybe that one will have longer chapters. BTW I'm not sure how soon I can write more on this story... a BIG season 4 spoiler has been released for 4X04 (i think) and I really can't write right now... I've tried -_-' so I'm sorry idk when the next chapter will be up. I still haven't finished my book report for one of my 3 college courses and school is starting again soon so GAHHHHHHHH! I'M SOOOOO SORRY, don't hate me :3

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><p>There were tears in Kurt's eyes as he clutched Blaine's hand and asked, "What do you mean there's no heartbeat?"<p>

"I'm sorry to say it, but it looks like you miscarried. We don't know if would have been different if there was a woman carrying this baby. There is so much more we have to learn about these things before we can really know," the doctor said sadly.

Kurt felt broken. Absoultely broken. All his dreams of having a baby that was both his and Blaine's were crushed. Blaine was crying quietly. The doctor suggested they go home and admited that they could try again in the future. Blaine led Kurt to the car.

Blaine slammed his hand on the wheel and sobs took over his body. Kurt had gotten in the other side and was sitting there staring straight ahead. Completely numb.

"Blaine," he finally spoke softly, "let's go home."

Blaine just nodded and the ride home was quiet; the only sound was the broken boys sobbing.

They got home and Kurt crawled into bed after simply stripping off his clothes and adding pajama bottoms. Blaine didn't know what to do. He was hurt but Kurt was the one carrying the baby and he'd been so happy. Blaine would never say it out loud but he knew he was a little bit stronger than Kurt. Blaine was used to picking himself up after every fall and Blaine had had a lot of falls. He'd gone through a lot and, though he was younger than Kurt, he'd been through more bad experiences than Kurt. Blaine was happy Kurt had a mostly happy past and just hoped he could keep his future happy.

Blaine changed and crawled into bed where Kurt seemed to be sleeping. Blaine was planning to lay there and figure out how to even begin to start to deal with this hardship. Then he heard a sound and looked toward Kurt. Kurt's shoulders were shaking and Blaine knew he was awake. Then Kurt spoke.

"We were dumb. Too optimistic; too hopeful," Kurt said in a whispered, hoarse voice, "We should've been more prepared for this. We knew it would happen."

"Kurt, we were happy. We figured everything could be okay. There's so many medical breakthroughs these days, it's possible," Blaine said in a voice he hoped was reassuring; he was trying to make Kurt feel a little better by trying to sound stronger even though he'd had a stream of continous tears ever since he got the news.

"Blaine don't be stupid," he said a little louder with a hint of anger in his voice, "We can't have a baby. We're two men, it's not possible! I love the happiness you keep in my life and all this, 'The glass is half full,' stuff, but this is borderline foolish. There will never be a baby that is half of both of us."

"You don't know tha-" Blaine began to counter.

"Yes I do," Kurt yelled and soften his voice after looking at Blaine and taking a moment to calm down, "I'm sorry. It's a nice thought and I love you but we need to be realistic."

"I'm not giving up hope," Blaine said and gave Kurt a quick kiss and held him until he fell asleep.

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><p>When Kurt woke up the next morning he was upset when he found himself in an empty bed. Then he smelled Blaine's cooking and moments later Blaine walked in with a tray of food. Kurt looked at it with disgust and Blaine frowned.<p>

"What's wrong with the food? You usually love my cooking," Blaine was stumped.

"Blaine, it's not your cooking, I just feel sick. I don't want to eat, I don't even want to go to work. Honestly, I don't know how to deal with this without crying every second," Kurt stated as the tears began to fall again.

"I know, I know, I know," Blaine continously said while rubbing Kurt's back and letting his own tears fall.

"What do we do now?" Kurt asked, looking dumbfounded.

"I called our boss and we both have the day off. Now about our future," Blaine began, pausing to think and choose his words carefully, "We could try again in the future. The doctor said we could, so we could wait until next month and maybe try then."

"No!" Kurt stated, "Stop it! I will not get my hopes up."

"I'm just trying to help," Blaine said loudly then yelled, "What do you want form me! I don't know what the hell to do here. I've been hurting but all I'm worried about is how you feel," Blaine stated then stormed out the door.

"Whatever, Blaine. Leave, I don't want you here anyway," Kurt yelled after him. Then he curled up and cried so hard his whole body was shaking.

Things couldn't get any worse. The moment Blaine walked out the door he was sorry because he knew how hurt the man he loved was. He knew it would be better if he went for a walk to cool down, then they could talk. Blaine would never give up on Kurt and as long as Kurt wanted him, he'd stay until the day he died.

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><p><strong>AN:** Like I said short and sad... :( Soooooooo I will NOT say anything about the spoiler and I hope anyone who reads this and knows what I'm talking about doesn't ruin it for people who DON'T WANT TO KNOW! lol Other than that, I love reviews :) and I was wondering does anybody else cry every time the watch Goodbye 'cause I just bought season 3 and cried like a baby at the end... (AGAIN!) If u wanna leave a review to tell me I'm not alone with the endless sobbing at the end (or pick on me because I'm so sappy) feel free to leave a review to let me know. :) Or leave a review voicing any suggestions or complaints (besides the lack of lengthy chapters and long breaks between uploads)


	9. A Haunting Past

A/N: ***SPOILER ALERT* This chapter will contain hints at occurrences from 4X04 so read with that in mind. Btw the bottom A/N also discusses the events so read with discretion.**

Besides that I am sorry i didn't update sooner, first I was busy, then I was depressed. I'll admit I cried like a bitch... Don't hate me.

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><p>Later that night Blaine still had not come back. Kurt had time to think and realized that he was not the only one hurting. For the first time since he found out he'd lost the baby, he sang. He got up and looked at his tear stricken cheeks and sang from the heart, thinking he'd really lost Blaine this time.<p>

It was around this time that Blaine got to the apartment and he was about to open the door when he heard Kurt sing the chorus of the song he was singing.

Kurt sang: "Losing him was blue like I'd never known; missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met. But loving him was red, loving him was red."

Blaine began to cry because he didn't want Kurt to think he didn't love him anymore. Kurt's voice was filled with emotion and Blaine opened the door but Kurt was too lost in the song to realize. Blaine stood in the doorway as Kurt, who was turned away from him and was standing, looking out the window, continued the song.

"Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song. Fighting him," and here Kurt had to pause for a breath, then shook his head determined to finish the song, "-fighting him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer. Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong," and here Kurt broke down, he couldn't finish it.

Then Kurt heard Blaine's voice, "Losing him was blue like I'd never known; missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met. But loving him was red, loving him was red."

Kurt ran into Blaine's arms then said, "Blaine, baby. Maybe we should go for counseling."

"Really?" Blaine asked, "Kurt, this will be good for us, thank you."

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><p>Later that night Kurt had another thought. He hated that he had to think of this but he did.<p>

"Blaine, where did you go when you left? You were gone a long time," Kurt inquired.

"I went to see Wes at his record company. We talked and he offered to let me stay with him and his wife but I didn't want you to go to bed mad at me," Blaine answered honestly.

Kurt raised one eyebrow but shook his head and nodded. Blaine did not miss the action though.

"What, Kurt?"

"Nothing, I just, I thought Wes was moving and back to Ohio and never looking back."

"He's not leaving 'til next week and he is still moving to Ohio. We planned a final goodbye dinner where you and I can sit down one more time with him and Laura. What is this really about, Kurt?"

"Nothing," Kurt said again and shook his head, "I'm just really glad we're seeing a counselor."

Blaine gasped when he heard Kurt say under his breath, "I really hope it wasn't Eli again."

"What the fuck, Kurt!? How many times do I have to tell you that was a stupid mistake? Why even bring that up now when I thought we'd put it in the past. I love you, Kurt and I haven't even thought about him since that stupid mistake. If you can't accept my apologies and trust me maybe we shouldn't get married. I told you what I did because I wanted to be the one to tell you so you didn't have to find out from someone else, I hoped it would regain your trust faster but I guess not," with this Blaine got up from the couch where he had been sitting with Kurt and went to bed crying.

Soon Blaine heard Kurt coming to bed and thought about denying him the right to lie next to him but decided that he would try to make this work and maybe someday he would finally be able to be with Kurt without Kurt skepticism. Blaine could understand it but it still killed him that a stupid mistake had ruled his life for so long. Blaine decided to pretend he was asleep as Kurt lie next to him.

Suddenly Blaine felt Kurt's hand in his and he heard Kurt say, "We've both made our mistakes and I forgive you if you'll forgive me. I trust you but I just sometimes think I'm not good enough," Kurt choked up, "I've never been good enough for you. All I know about Eli is the name but you might have had a better life with them. They may not have been as genetically fucked up as me," Kurt sighed, "So much for not going to bed mad. I love you," he whispered and stroked Blaine's hair before shutting his eyes.

Blaine didn't answer as he held back his sobs. He needed to figure something out to fix his relationship.

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><p>AN: I wanted to update sooner but homework and color guard calls, sorry. This was originally going to be a make-up chapter but frankly when Ryan Murphy made Blainers, my favorite character, into a cheater and broke Kurties heart, I was pissed and this is what happened. There should be a make up in the future though. I also heard T-Swift's song "Red" the day after "The Break Up" and cried, like a bitch... again, and in my school's jazz choir we're singing Blackbird and it kills me to sing it. I'm also working on another fanfiction but I'll probably upload when it's finished so it'll all be there with little to no wait. Wow that was a kinda long note, sorry. Fellow Klainers stay strong, I'm pretty sure RIB wants us to be happy. I will always have hope for my OTP. /3


	10. The Inner Depths of the Mind

A/N: SHE LIVES! In all seriousness I am so sorry! School was getting crazy then there was the play, some family deaths, my dad was in the hospital last month, and I had color guard. Now life leaves me with a sprained ankle that hurts like hell and time to write. That time will be limited though, because as long as this ankle heals like it's supposed to and I can get my doctor's permission I will be starting an internship. I will try my best not to wait too long to update another chapter. Like I said I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoy (I'm going to try to make longer chapters in the future but I wanted to show some sign of life.

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><p>When Blaine woke the next morning, he smelled Kurt's homemade pancakes and got up. He was surprised to see Kurt cooking again; when he saw Blaine he immediately stopped and ran to his arms. Blaine hadn't been this confused since he kissed Rachel and thought he was straight.<p>

"Kurt, what the hell is going on," Blaine asked.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt said sobbing, "Don't ever leave me. I couldn't sleep last night because I knew you went to bed thinking that I didn't trust you and that I didn't love you. But I do! I do Blaine and I want to marry you, I want to have a family with you," then he suddenly stopped.

Kurt seemed to be falling apart as he remeber his failed pregnancy and Blaine knew it. They needed to find help or he would lose Kurt... or Kurt would lose him. Blaine couldn't imagine what his life would be like without Kurt but he was afraid Kurt would never really trust him again, and that bothered Blaine.

"Kurt," Blaine spoke quietly and Kurt looked into his eyes, "we need help. I don't think I could live without you but I don't think I can stay without your trust."

"Blaine!" Kurt cried, "Don't leave me, please don't leave, I love you so much"

* * *

><p>Immediately after small talk over breakfast Blaine called to make an appointment with a couple's counselor. Luckily, they were able to get an appointment the next hour and before they left Kurt continued to apologize but Blaine told him to stop, it wasn't his fault. The car ride was quiet but Kurt whimpered now and then. Blaine felt heartless but he knew he just couldn't live not knowing whether or not Kurt really trusted him or not.<p>

Blaine pulled into a parking space and looked at the modest office that stood before him. He unhooked his seatbelt and glanced at Kurt, the man he'd hurt so wrongly in the past.

"Kurt, before we go in there," Blaine began, pausing for a breath, "I just want to say that we both will need to be honest if we want this to work out. I love you more than anything in my life and I'll do whatever it takes to make things right with you."

Kurt simply nodded, unable to speak. Blaine stepped out of the car and breathed in the smell of roses carried on the wind from the beauteous bushes that bordered the exterior of the office. Blaine held the door open for the love of his life and prayed silently that things would work out.

They walked into the office and found that they were the only ones there. They introduced their names and the fact that their appointment was in a mere five minutes. The receptionist nodded and pointed to a small seating area, so small, in fact, that it only contained four seats. Blaine allowed Kurt to sit first, and then took the seat next to him. Blaine couldn't help the fact that his heart leapt in his chest when Kurt grabbed onto Blaine's hand.

_I'm earning his trust, over the years it's been building little by little, _Blaine thought to himself.

"Mr. Hummel and Mr. Anderson, "a voice called yanking Blaine from his reverie of a perfect future for Kurt and himself, "I'm Dr. Gionni, your counselor. Please follow me into my office and take a seat."

Both boys stood and followed, glancing warily at each other first, nervous about putting their relationship to the test.

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><p>Blaine and Kurt took a seat and stared at this woman, Dr. Gionni, and waited to see what would happen. She smiled warmly and sat behind her desk.<p>

"So you're experiencing some relationship problems," she began stating the obvious, "can you tell me where they stem from."

"I cheated," Blaine admitted, loud and clear with Kurt uttering a small gasp at hearing Blaine say the words that had caused him so much pain.

"Was this recently?" the Dr. Gionni asked, taking notes.

"Not all that recent. A year?" Blaine wasn't quite sure.

"Eight months next Thursday," Kurt answered with determination.

"I see," Dr. Gionni muttered, writing more things onto the sheet in front of her.

When she looked up she caught Blaine's eye saying, "Mr. Anderson, could you go back into the waiting room for a moment," it wasn't a question, more of a command.

Blaine got up and walked back to where he and Kurt had been sitting moments ago and wondered what this counselor was up to.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Hummel, do you believe in hypnosis?" Dr. Gionni asked.<p>

Kurt snorted, "Not really, but I'll give anything a try."

"Good because this is not the 'You're eyelids are slowly closing,' and swinging coin kind of hyposis."

"Okay"

Dr. Gionni smiled then began, "You do start by closing your eyes however," she stated and he did just that, "Okay, Kurt. You are in a very serene place, the epitome of happy. You are looking forward walking hand in hand with the one person that you could never let go of, the person who holds your heart in their hands, but you're not looking at them. You're looking forward, walking endlessly forward. You feel as if you and the person next to you are the same person, like there's not an end of you and beginning of them, you are one. The person whom you love more than life itself squeezes your hand tighter, promising to never let you go. My voice sounds distant; there is nothing but the person who you love so dearly. You're still looking forward and they lean in and whisper 'I love you' in your ear; you can feel their breath on your neck and your skin ignites. You know this is perfect and you're meant to be with this person. This person stops and strokes your check and you finally look up at them. Who do you see, Kurt?"

Softly, almost unheard, Kurt utters a name, "Blaine."

"You may open your eyes"

Kurt did so, surprised to find tears rolling down his cheeks.

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><p>AN: Oh Kurtie. :/ I'll try to get another chapter up soon!


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